The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
