i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
You did what with his pubic hair?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
