im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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