Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
