I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
