:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
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Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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