you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
