we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Randomize
