Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
