She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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