the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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