I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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