Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
