just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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