I am puke
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
