I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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