if you like me you must not know who I am
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
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There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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