Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Can Purell be used as lube?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
