so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
