So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
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I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
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I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.