i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.