you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?