She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
