When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
