This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
