Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(810): View more from Michigan

Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.

Fav 14 4167 910
share tweet
(416): View more from Ontario

she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes

Fav 15 1255 4742
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(604): View more from British Columbia

his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed

Fav 20 1358 4979
share tweet
(530): View more from California

I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.

Fav 29 4596 1429
share tweet
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(860): View more from Connecticut

Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?

Fav 9 1943 816
share tweet
(631): View more from New York

im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night

Fav 5 3038 750
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(520): View more from Arizona

Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation

Fav 1 1322 734
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(775): View more from Nevada

So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...

Fav 4 1075 224
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(952): View more from Minnesota

Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.

Fav 1 44 18
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT