Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."