Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?

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(407): i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub? http://tfl.nu/tcak

Replies (33) Good night (8175) Bad night (707)
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(212): View more from New York

I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.

(503): View more from Oregon

Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.

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(212): I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew. (503): Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word. http://tfl.nu/4en3

Replies (26) Good night (5525) Bad night (599)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.

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(908): So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college. http://tfl.nu/jk80

Replies (30) Good night (1292) Bad night (5737)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."

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(203): So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm." http://tfl.nu/f62k

Replies (19) Good night (3568) Bad night (883)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.

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(304): I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed. http://tfl.nu/knrb

Replies (25) Good night (5697) Bad night (742)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.

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(201): i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds. http://tfl.nu/tub0

Replies (12) Good night (3015) Bad night (674)
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(302): View more from Delaware

Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now

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(302): Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now http://tfl.nu/i71d

Replies (15) Good night (752) Bad night (4450)
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(317): View more from Indiana

The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.

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(317): The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth. http://tfl.nu/e18q

Replies (6) Good night (861) Bad night (2838)
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(787): View more from Puerto Rico

He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.

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(787): He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him. http://tfl.nu/klex

Replies (21) Good night (4554) Bad night (1067)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.

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(218): just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high. http://tfl.nu/mss3

Replies (23) Good night (2406) Bad night (1043)
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(404): View more from Georgia

I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.

(734): View more from Michigan

Your friend and I already don't get along

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(404): I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend. (734): Your friend and I already don't get along http://tfl.nu/d3pe

Replies (4) Good night (3405) Bad night (657)
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(847): View more from Illinois

i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero

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(847): i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero http://tfl.nu/upbm

Replies (16) Good night (2440) Bad night (573)
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(954): View more from Florida

stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us

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(954): stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us http://tfl.nu/1h6z

Replies (3) Good night (1907) Bad night (474)
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(281): View more from Texas

A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.

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(281): A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before. http://tfl.nu/gsfk

Replies (3) Good night (886) Bad night (351)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."

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(570): You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG." http://tfl.nu/j0ai

Replies (0) Good night (461) Bad night (199)

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