Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?

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(917): If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I? http://tfl.nu/azfj

Replies (10) Good night (754) Bad night (1307)
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(906): View more from Michigan

i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.

(989): View more from Michigan

you're going for the gold here.

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(906): i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage. (989): you're going for the gold here. http://tfl.nu/773u

Replies (9) Good night (2834) Bad night (625)
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(314): View more from Missouri

rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?

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(314): rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places? http://tfl.nu/i464

Replies (39) Good night (6316) Bad night (788)
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(718): View more from New York

I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn

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(718): I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn http://tfl.nu/ymp4

Replies (19) Good night (904) Bad night (2427)
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(540): View more from Virginia

I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf

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(540): I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf http://tfl.nu/8zma

Replies (31) Good night (2768) Bad night (598)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!

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(732): wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative! http://tfl.nu/b5c4

Replies (67) Good night (6996) Bad night (1129)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.

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(978): i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite. http://tfl.nu/yk7i

Replies (22) Good night (8301) Bad night (821)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard

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(203): whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard http://tfl.nu/amtb

Replies (28) Good night (851) Bad night (4016)
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(503): View more from Oregon

I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you

(541): View more from Oregon

I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.

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(503): I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you (541): I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/6ejs

Replies (55) Good night (13762) Bad night (1102)
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(815): View more from Illinois

my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward

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(815): my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward http://tfl.nu/w58u

Replies (7) Good night (2829) Bad night (844)
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(252): View more from North Carolina

He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory

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(252): He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory http://tfl.nu/jj42

Replies (20) Good night (1516) Bad night (4930)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.

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(803): Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there. http://tfl.nu/xmpv

Replies (9) Good night (7916) Bad night (1079)
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(305): View more from Florida

he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.

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(305): he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad. http://tfl.nu/2uqd

Replies (7) Good night (2131) Bad night (847)
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(217): View more from Illinois

Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.

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(217): Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks. http://tfl.nu/w6yk

Replies (6) Good night (2203) Bad night (926)
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(315): View more from New York

Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...

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(315): Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper... http://tfl.nu/s6hc

Replies (6) Good night (583) Bad night (1060)

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