she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
