Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it