mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He better not be in your backpack
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
