Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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