No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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