Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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