I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
