craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
