We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
