I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I got inside last night via doggy door
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
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