great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I smell like Dick and happiness
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
