we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
