I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
