i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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