I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
