1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
