Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
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other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
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So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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