Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
