I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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