Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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