Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
