We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Im part way to drunk.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
