Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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