i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
