also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
