True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
