i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
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She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
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There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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