After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
