Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
