I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
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I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
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i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Randomize
