a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?