3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave