yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for