I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
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It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
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Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.