I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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