she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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