Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
She is in my trunk
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
