i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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