Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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