all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
