things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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