just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
