it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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