Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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