I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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