If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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